Who's in Charge?

The more I read about traditional publishing and royalty statements, the more it firms my resolve to be in charge of my own career as a writer.

A traditional publisher currently still holds the prestige of having someone choose your work to be published. I say currently because there have been so many changes lately, it's hard to know what it will look like tomorrow or next week or next year.

Let's imagine that we treat the book business like we treat the music business or the movie business. The editor is someone we follow like a producer or director. (Great link, sadly not my idea.) We have household names like Steven Spielberg and Christopher Columbus.  How many people can name a single editor if you're not in the book business or know one personally? But an editor as a brand gives us something to follow to say, hey, I might like this book, too.

Even agents could leave a trail of different books to read. Someone has to have similar tastes. Yet it's all on the author's name and effort. It leaves all the writers struggling to be individually known.

No wonder they're starving artists. The royalty statements (from the first link above) can be as messed up as you please, and if each writer goes against them individually they can only go so far. Some publishers will do what they can to fix things. Others will try to screw everyone over in the hope that no one will call them on it.

Self publishing might be the only way. And that's why I'm sitting at my computer in the late evenings, editing. I want to get it the best I can manage before I send it to a professional editor. Cover design and formatting the book will cost me, too, but at least then I know what I owe and when I break even.

When did things get so crazy? Are there other options?

Acceptance!

Crowdfunding to Self Publish

I want to be read. That's the reason I write things. I want people to read them, to share them, to think about them. That's what being an author is to me.

So when I talk about the impermanence of short stories, how they get their place on a site for a short time and then get put away, it makes me glad they were out there. I provide the link to friends who might be interested and I love getting their reactions. But then the stories are gone.

Publishing keeps changing in so many ways. So what I want to do is put out a couple short story collections. They would be self published, but that is not the stigma it used to be. They would be professionally edited and formatted. The covers would be done by a good artist. [I already found at least one who can work with me.]

The best part is that anyone could read these stories.

The worst part is that I can't afford it by myself at this time.

However, there are ways around my funding issues. I'm looking into crowdfunding: Kickstarter, Kapipal, IndieGoGo, Go Get Funding, and others. I'm limited in that I write erotica and I plan to give erotica away as incentives. I don't think it's a big deal, but anybody who wants to go through PayPal needs to be careful because they won't allow pornography in their incentives (along with alcohol and a bunch of other things). I probably could make the distinction that this is erotica, there are no pornographic pictures or videos, but I just want to play that part safe.

There are two ways to do crowdfunding. One puts out a goal of a monetary sort and says, "If I make this goal, the investors get their incentives and I get the cash. But if I don't, nobody gets anything." The other way allows investors to get the incentives and me to get the funds even if we don't make our goal. Some of the sites take a larger percentage if you don't make the goal, but it means I'd still have to provide the incentives if I only got a percentage and I'd get at least partial funding for this project.

Partial funding might be enough. I have options on ways to go, but I don't think I can take on the whole project without help. So I'm working on incentives and deciding which crowdfunding company will suit me the best.

Thoughts?

Dragging My Feet

I need to stop dragging my feet. There is always another reason to not get out there. To just say I'll do it tomorrow. Forget that I've been super busy with things outside of my writing and they're good excuses - they're still excuses.

I missed on one of my goals. I just realized I did not send out a story in March. I sent out two in February, but that doesn't count. So I decided I must send out two this month to balance that out. I pretty much know what I'm sending where. I thought I'd have a response from one of them by now, but I'm sure they'll get back to me soon.

Goals are good to keep us on task to where we need to be, but I don't feel the need to beat myself up over little stumbles. This goal is getting me toward where I want to be - published. If I quit now I'll never get there.

So I review my progress every so often. I try to figure out what I'm doing well and where I can improve. It's far more productive than beating myself up. For the most part I write short stories, though I do have a few projects in the novella and novel range that I will continue to work on.

The only hard part is the whole process is not very permanent. A short story gets a few minutes in the limelight and then it is pushed to the side for something else. There are a few places where you may pay and view what you like. Ruthie's Club was one, but they went defunct a while back. Literotica is a free site that is similar, but there is very little in the way of quality control - if you write it and it is within their guidelines, it doesn't matter how well it's written, it's out there.

So there are also ideas in my head that to make those more permanent. Just because it is a short story doesn't mean it can't be out there. And I'll give more information on that later.

The Problem with DIY

I suppose I ought to be careful with this one. DIY, or do-it-yourself, is practically the American Way. Want to write a book? Go for it. Want to finish your basement? It takes some time, but it improves the value of the home. Want to take up a sport? Find another weekender who shares your interest and dive right in. A million sites tell you how to do anything you want to do from completing home projects to earning extra money and encompass nearly everything you can think of.

Learning is good. Figuring out the best way to do something can be a brain-teaser or even a service to offer to others. But while doing something yourself can be good, doing everything yourself is the best way to invite errors into your endeavors. 

Remember very few people walk into court and choose to represent themselves. The law is one of those things the average person doesn't want to mess with. It makes me wonder why so many people want to do their taxes themselves. Sure, it costs a bit of money to find a good accountant - but once you get beyond the 1040 form, isn't it worth it to know taxes are all filed correctly? You can write a will yourself, but do you know it's legal? Do you know the changes that need to be made through time to keep everything current? 

The thing about doing it yourself is that you can do anything and everything you choose to do - but doing it well might take practice. The people who get the practice are experts in their fields. Often when you put the DIY against the expert you can easily see the differences. Maybe you don't notice all the little differences between your work and the expert's - but someone can, and many others do. 

It's one reason self-publishing can get a bad rap. Anyone can do it and throw out whatever book they decide to write, edit and/or polish (and sometimes not on the last two). It gives the rest of the writers who go through the trouble to make a professional product a bad rap. 

Think about those small businesses where the owner tries to do everything himself (or herself). Do they try to do everything until they can afford an accountant, a lawyer, or a plumber? How long do they last, compared to the other businesses who hire needed professional services for the areas where the owner lacks expertise?  How's the bottom line? 

Before you do your next project yourself, make a list of your strengths. Each different part of the project may be fun, need a specific skill set, or require previous knowledge. The pieces that you don't have or are unable to spend time to become the expert needed are the pieces you should hire to be completed. 

Doing it yourself is becoming an expert in that niche or screwing it up. The latter option costs even more to fix it than doing it right in the first place. Everyone has a story about something they knew could have been done better - don't let that be you. 

On the Search for an Artist

I'll admit I prefer to keep things among friends. It isn't that I don't like strangers or big corporations, but helping out a friend is important to me. So I've been pushing myself to remember all the artists that I know that might want to do some work for me with my determination to get some collections published this year.

It's an interesting thing, trying to find an artist. One option is in college and likes that I have a bunch of ideas and I am open to her insight on how to put them together. I just think I know where my strengths lie. I love art, I want to see it put together nicely, but I also know that I might not be the best judge of how that is done. She also let me know what her strengths are, which makes me like her better.

Anyone who isn't afraid to share where the weaknesses are is pretty great in my book. So I started a search for someone else who is more for drawing and less graphics for the next part of my search.

Somehow another name fell into my lap along with a sketch by the artist my friend was talking up. I just have to see how he feels about working with an erotica writer. Could be the start of something great.

My head is overflowing when I start to consider the art aspects. I need covers for each of the collections I'm planning - three at the moment - and also I'd love to get a new piece for my bio. I want these to be the best I can afford, but also patronize the people close to me who want to do this kind of work.

Then it's just about decisions to make the best fits for the projects at hand. But artwork really isn't easy to put together for a writer. I'll admit that I have a bit of talent when it comes to art, but also it's been years since I did anything with that. It's sad, since my high school art teacher once thought I could major in art. How different things might have been - if I were the illustrator looking for an author to partner with.

I remind myself I can't be the master of every talent, and look again for someone whose first passion is in the artistic imagery rather than the written word to portray the covers and other artwork I might need in my work.

Better to spend the rest of my time editing, rather than trying to put together a picture. It's my hope that the fans will want me writing something else, rather than waiting for my to make my own artwork. Perhaps if I get inspired I'll manage that, too, one day.

Until then I need an artist or two.

Gratuitous

Gratuitous is a word that a lot of people hide behind when they want to censor some kind of activity, whether it is sex or violence or anything else. Me? I'm not really a fan of gratuitous religion, but that doesn't get the same kind of attention.

Sex and violence, on the other hand, warrant all kinds of rules and regulations. I don't want your story if it has gratuitous violence - you know, anything that doesn't move the plot forward. I understand that a physical altercation can be just about the action, but often what leads up to it and the people who express their emotions in that manner are what needs to be shown with that end. Sex is an expression of a lot of different things, and again makes the people real.

These are two pillars at the core of our makeup. The drive for sex and procreation cannot be separated from the human condition. There are books and studies and who knows what other evidence to explain this, but if people don't have sex, people won't exist after very long.

Does that mean we have to weave it into every single thing we say and do? Maybe. Television, books, radio, even anecdotes from daily lives revolve around sex. We have innuendo and other not so subtle devices to insert it into our daily lives. It might make us crass or rude to admit it, but why are we so ashamed of sex? We're human. Sex drives us.

Oh, wait, let's insert that gratuitous - or not so gratuitous - religion again. All of a sudden our basic drive for sex is immoral. We have rules against sex outside of marriage, sex before marriage, sex with yourself, sex with anyone but that one person you marry. And these rules are absolute and in direct opposition with what our evolved drive for sex tells our minds to think.

Books and movies and all the other media use sex and violence to maintain drama. Drama is how you hold the audience's attention. It's one reason most of us fall asleep during documentaries they'll show you in school. There are trees and somehow the only action is ants crawling across the screen. Unless you're an ant fiend, it just doesn't do it for most of us. We crave drama, tension, conflict.

We mirror what we see in our lives, what we feel in our hearts, to create these plot lines. Sometimes it seems like they're all hopping into bed together. Sometimes it seems like another character just ended up dead. Remember when the soap operas dominated daytime television and they just couldn't figure out more ways to keep that tension high? We've replaced it with unscripted dramas we call "reality TV" that are actually nothing like reality. We freely admit this, and watch them anyway.

Not everyone chooses to watch this kind of entertainment. It's a choice. I recently met someone who said he didn't want to watch anything on television with sex or murder because he wanted to fill his life and his mind with the things he wanted more of - happiness and inspiration and other good things. His solution was to turn  off the television. While he explained his opinion, I felt in no way pressured to do the same. He never said I was immoral or anything else by enjoying those shows.

I try to remember him when I see all the other people touting immorality on screen, but it's difficult. I recently read an essay by a Christian woman who writes murder mysteries and watches all the crime shows, but hates that they all have sex together. She wants a cut and dried version with only the facts of the murders to take her on, without the characters that so many of us find intriguing.

Of course I'd be against those who are against gratuitous sex as an erotica writer, right? It's not that I'm for putting a sex scene in every novel or that I think everyone who might get close to sex should have it in the stories. But sometimes, it's necessary. That's who the person is. It is in our society and our lives. How deeply a writer delves into the sex is at the discretion of the writer (producer, director, etc).

And as a writer, I listen to the characters. Some of them want nothing more than to end up in bed together. Others run away at the prospect. At times those sex scenes dominate my story, and in another book they will be nothing but footnotes.

I think I need to stop letting those essays and blog posts and other outlets get to me. As long as we're telling stories, there will be sex and violence woven throughout, some gratuitous and some integral, and there will be arguments on both sides about which is which.

As for me, I'll be writing both kinds. Because sometimes it's just too fun not to.

Smashwords - Censored.

But the problem is how it's done. No, wait, the problem is that it is done.

Publishing is a lot of things. You can call it the part where a manuscript is sent through the traditional houses. You can call it the part where a writer uses a service to put their words in a form for others to read, be it through Smashwords or CreateSpace or through their own site. You can call it the form where we write words on a wall.

At least on my wall nobody will censor what I say. And it isn't even about my opinion of the words - it's that I want the right to say what I think ought to be said. I'm afraid once they say no to one thing it will be a slippery slope until we can't say much at all.

I know it's always up to the particular site about what can and cannot be expressed. I definitely want it all labeled properly so the unwary won't stumble across things accidentally. Whether it is erotica or slash fiction or even complete nonsense - we should all have the option to say what we want. Free speech, right?

Then again, no one gives backlash to sites who do not wish to cater to certain kinds of messages. The problem here is that someone else is saying what can and can't be done at another site. [A little like SOPA, except here it isn't the government involved but the bank.]

If PayPal is going to try to throw its weight around this way, is the next step to stop allowing purchases through its services for sites that put questionable (by their standards) up for free? I saw a follow-up that says that content might be allowed but not as the main theme because of all the uproar on Twitter.

Twitter is powerful. Do not mess with the Twitter machine.

I'm still waiting to see the next step. It bothers me as an erotica writer that I cannot publish everything I write because of moral objections, whether it be to telling stories through sex that some religious types object to completely or the specific niche not being allowed through censorship.

What do you think?

A Price to Publish

I know I'm writing to a niche audience. It isn't easy when you want to write erotica. It isn't something you want tattooed on your forehead or proclaimed in block letters on the outside of your home. While it isn't something I hide, it is also something I know most of my neighbors and acquaintances wouldn't understand.

But that's not really the point. Even those friends who read and love what I write can't answer my question about what price to set for my stories. And thanks to this Huffington Post article among others, I know I'm not alone.

At this point, I'm not a big name anywhere. I know people must have run across my work because it's out there. I've been published in a few places. That doesn't mean I have a big audience or following. If I put books or short story collections out there, I am not sure that I will have them snapped up by millions of readers. So goes the doubt of the would-be writer.

Yet there is a price to not publishing, too. Maybe I'm not able to say that a certain number of words is necessary for a $.99, $1.99, or $9.99 ebook, but if these stories just sit in my computer hard drives forever they don't get to do what I'd love them to do most: be read and enjoyed.

I won't stop from my earlier goal to be submitting to magazines. Part of that is getting my name out there and even the token payments remind me to stay on target to write and submit and do everything I can to be published. But what about those great stories I've worked on so long that simply cannot find the right market to be published? Maybe that's the place to start with the ebooks and self-publishing to allow them to find their larger audiences.

Yes, part of this is spawned from my latest rejection letter, which stated that my story was well-written but not what they were looking for. I've given more thought to what they are looking for, and I may try again.

Until then, it's good to get a good feel for what I've written and how the short stories might fit into collections and how many novellas I've got ready to go. This is the time to get out there and find my spot. Encouragement is appreciated.

Feedback...

Sometimes, all I can say is thank you. Today, it was a stretch even for that.

Erotica is an interesting niche to write. There's something about the intimacy of the characters and setting that will repel some readers and attract others. Normally attraction is a good thing, but there is a line between what is welcome and what isn't.

Most of my readers are people I know. I love that I've learned so much about these people. Sometimes I write things specifically to titillate them. All I ask in return is that I get feedback from them about what they thought - even if it amounts to "I hate it." Mostly it keeps my inner needy writer assuaged from thinking my muse must be dumped down a well and never see the light of day again.

Of course, when these friends send flattery my way, I know it's not going to amount to anything. It's just their polite way of telling me to keep going and keep my self-esteem from dragging. My friends are wonderful this way and I hope they know how much I appreciate that.

On the other hand, there are people I don't know. One today who referred to himself by a male name while not only praising lesbians but calling men incomplete... Well, he left me some interesting comments, including a nickname and an instant message and two apologies for being so forward with the disclaimer that he doesn't do that much.

Seriously? Mostly it just makes me shake my head. I should send him to a piece of mine featuring gay males instead. I write so many different things, yet he wants to believe that I am one of those characters featured in the story (neither of which is a proclaimed lesbian). I could point him to several heterosexual characters I've written.

I don't know how to get it across to people that the details of the characters I write are not something I'm trying to express about myself. I write fiction. I love fiction. Sometimes I'll change things about a character to make it fit the story better or to get my message across. If that means creating a man where there was once a woman, changing the color of eyes or hair or skin, or making up mannerisms where none existed previously, so be it. Nothing is set in stone. Actually, that's one reason I love writing - it isn't set in stone! I can tweak things endlessly until they fall the way I need them to.

All the writers I know have heard the phrase 'Write what you know.' That isn't always a literal thing - writing what you know can take many forms, and it doesn't have to be just writing things from your past. It can be morphing them into messages to make readers think.

I can't think of a single story I've written where I've poured all of myself into it. There's always something changing, taking one small piece of truth and draping it with a bunch of fiction. That's the only way it works for me. It's like this phrase that I'm trying to weave into a story: "I write fiction because fact hurts too much." That quote will describe how I feel about it, but when I'm done nothing else about the story will be true about me.

Please regard the writer as a creator of many stories, not simply a regurgitator of what happened. I don't just mean me - most of the writers I know have a separation between self and characters. Don't be afraid to ask. You just might get an answer.

Abortion and the News

The Susan G. Komen Foundation has pulled the plug on funding for Planned Parenthood. Somehow, this makes me irate when they mention comments about the pro-life politics getting in the way of breast health. I was a bit gratified to see that I'm not the only one - according to the Washington Post Planned Parenthood received 6000 donations in the first 24 hours (as opposed to the normal 100 to 200 donations per day) and has nearly covered the funds that the Komen foundation would have provided.

Planned Parenthood is a great organization. It's not just about abortion. They're about sexual and reproductive health across the spectrum - and especially for those who might not otherwise afford it.

And yet, so many people boycott Planned Parenthood because they also offer abortions. Maybe they're just the vocal ones who want to stand on their little soapboxes and say that every life is precious and it begins at conception?

I just have such a problem with that. Planned Parenthood states in their mission that they'd rather prevent unwanted pregnancy than abort it. My problem with the pro-life movement runs a bit deeper, though. If I can set it in my mind that abortion is the right option for me, who are you to say I can't do it? It should be between me, my religious ideals (if any), and my conscience.

Don't give me crap about saying that it ought to only be in certain cases, like rape, incest, and cases that endanger the mother's health. Suddenly we're going to open up all kinds of legal issues trying to demarcate what constitutes rape or significantly endangering the mother's health in order to allow an abortion or not.

We call ourselves free. We make decisions every day about what we want to do. We choose how to shape our own futures with every step we take.

I know several of my friends would choose against abortion - not just for their families but everyone. Some have even picketed against Planned Parenthood. (Shudder.)

Many years ago, on my way home from work, I saw such a demonstration on one of the main streets in the city where I lived. There were posters so large that each took two people to hold on the sides of the road where the speed limit was 45 mph. It was awful and I was surprised there were no accidents that evening, but it didn't change how I felt about abortion. I'd like to think if I were a doctor I'd work for a place like Planned Parenthood and help them with that task.

It's not that I enjoy prematurely taking life, but it's an important thing to do. We need professionals who will stand up and perform the duty and have it be routine enough that it isn't riskier than it has to be.

Humans are wired for the need to procreate - the need to have sex. Prevention should be the first priority, but it might also be good that we stay out of other people's business. How many of us look askance at people like Octomom? At teen mothers? Yet several also shun abortion. We only have so many choices. Make yours count - and keep them to yourself. My business is just that - mine.

I promise to follow my conscience if you do the same.

Note: if Planned Parenthood's numbers are correct, I'm sure we all know someone who's had an abortion. But nobody talks about it. Seems worse than miscarriage that way. It's an incredibly personal decision and it has far-reaching consequences. I'd love to interview someone for a story, but the story will come out either way. Email me if you're willing to share.

What's the Meaning of this [Relationship]?!

Relationships are complicated. Even if you go with the mainstream opinion that monogamy is the way to go - you still get difficulties as people progress through life. If someone gets married at 20, most people will change by 30, not to mention the "til death do us part" numbers. Once people share those years together, they learn to adjust to each other and can even miss the quirks that seemed to drive the individual crazy.

But what happens when you add more than just one person? This Sex at Dawn excerpt starts to show how the complexities multiply. The picture just shows the extra pieces, not thinking about all the mental and emotional segments that go with them.

The richness of characters and plots make these shadings intriguing to me. It isn't just that my stories want to explore sex, but it's also the relationships and the entanglements that draw the reader in to bring them new ideas.

I consider myself lucky that the people I know who practice non-monogamy are willing to answer questions about it. And there is definitely an emphasis on the part about people I know part. There are likely more that practice several of those segments from the graphic, like perhaps Don't Ask Don't Tell or Cheating, who wouldn't talk to me about it. My questions are all filled with curiosity and not malice.

With all the possibilities out there, it is a wonder that the mainstream view is monogamy, isn't it? It must be an assumption we get from our formative years. Is it because most of our parents and grandparents practice it? Because we hear about it in the religious gatherings? Because so often those who fill that graph with all the colors are the ones who keep quietest about their activities?

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but that would translate to love being in the heart of the relationship. It doesn't matter with whom you celebrate it - but rather that you do it. How much more interesting would our society be if we allowed a spectrum in place of the black-and-white choices? It's not about gay vs straight or monogamy vs polygamy or ever right vs wrong. Choices decide who we are and how we love. Love is the most important part - to do it and feel it and share it. And, as I hope for the erotica gig, read it!

On Writing Sex Scenes

I appreciated this HuffingtonPost article about a tongue in cheek way to write a sex scene.

I think it's hard to write a good sex scene. There are so many things that go into it, like whether you're trying to excite or repel or even if you just want to make a statement. Every word chosen goes toward the effect of the entire scene. It isn't just point of view or the specific actions that take place.

And don't get me started on the people who close the door on the reader when sex might occur. Or, maybe you should.

Take sex itself: It's as different as the people who come together to screw. Some cannot fathom doing it one way and some can't be talked out that specific position or fetish or anything else you might imagine. It says something about who we are. Those things also tell our readers even more about our characters.

When you shut the door and let the characters do their thing - it's saying something about the author, and not just the characters. Whether they have sex or not is up to them, but if and how you describe it should also be up to them.

Some stories need the sex scenes. I'm not just talking about the erotica or pornography bits where the author's trying to get a rise out of the reader. Sometimes the epiphany happens during sex - just like in real life. If you deprive your reader of the character's AHA! moment, you haven't done anyone any favors.

Maybe the question ought to be, do you need that scene? Does the reader need to know that the main character and her husband have dutiful sex every night? It does if it changes her at some point. No, not every scene needs to be true to their lives - feel free to cut every snippet that doesn't lead to the big moment of change - but really examine the story being told to give an idea about what needs to be in there.

I wrote a novel that wasn't erotica. [That happens occasionally. I haven't written a full erotica novel yet, but it might happen one day.] There were a couple important sex scenes to show in that novel, though. Each one contributed to the main character's fall and showed her changing views through the novel. There aren't very many, four at most, but each one shows something a little different happening and her reaction to the change.

I listen to authors and publishers who think all sex is gratuitous and should never be shown. While some of them seem to be mired in overly religious views that do not seem to be separable from their author selves, it makes me wonder if those ingrained beliefs begin from other places. So are extremely religious people doomed to keep up their faith through stories? I'm really curious if the "good" authors are able to separate themselves from their core beliefs or if it is another form of author intrusion, this time insinuating into the characters themselves... If anyone has examples, I'd love to know about them.

So perhaps that is a failing of mine, that I enjoy exploring in this niche of sexuality and its expression. It isn't always about making my readers immediately excuse themselves to masturbate, though that is sometimes my goal. Sometimes it's about expressing something that doesn't always get said and showing that through the characters and how they love or not.

Think about how those one-night stands really differ from the true love types. Or how one night with your spouse is so much more memorable than another. Or why one type of encounter turns you on in a different way than all the others. Most of the time we don't learn anything from our sexual encounters, but there are times it really sticks in your head. Is that appropriate for a story? Can you separate your own life from the character you want to write about in order to express that epiphany? Do you think you can stretch it from the one side of straight pornography to the other of twisted erotica with the same events but change the views of the characters involved and how the reader gets to understand them to pull out those other ideas?

I can't stop exploring the richness of sex in stories, at least. My characters range as far as I can imagine, and each of them has individual opinions that must be expressed. I would like to say my core beliefs do not intrude, but I'm sure they do here and there. Someone would have to read them all to figure it out, but no one's done that yet. Now and then I find someone extremely good at reading between the lines and it makes me a little nervous to send stories - but I do it anyway. It's good for the muse.