Feedback...

Sometimes, all I can say is thank you. Today, it was a stretch even for that.

Erotica is an interesting niche to write. There's something about the intimacy of the characters and setting that will repel some readers and attract others. Normally attraction is a good thing, but there is a line between what is welcome and what isn't.

Most of my readers are people I know. I love that I've learned so much about these people. Sometimes I write things specifically to titillate them. All I ask in return is that I get feedback from them about what they thought - even if it amounts to "I hate it." Mostly it keeps my inner needy writer assuaged from thinking my muse must be dumped down a well and never see the light of day again.

Of course, when these friends send flattery my way, I know it's not going to amount to anything. It's just their polite way of telling me to keep going and keep my self-esteem from dragging. My friends are wonderful this way and I hope they know how much I appreciate that.

On the other hand, there are people I don't know. One today who referred to himself by a male name while not only praising lesbians but calling men incomplete... Well, he left me some interesting comments, including a nickname and an instant message and two apologies for being so forward with the disclaimer that he doesn't do that much.

Seriously? Mostly it just makes me shake my head. I should send him to a piece of mine featuring gay males instead. I write so many different things, yet he wants to believe that I am one of those characters featured in the story (neither of which is a proclaimed lesbian). I could point him to several heterosexual characters I've written.

I don't know how to get it across to people that the details of the characters I write are not something I'm trying to express about myself. I write fiction. I love fiction. Sometimes I'll change things about a character to make it fit the story better or to get my message across. If that means creating a man where there was once a woman, changing the color of eyes or hair or skin, or making up mannerisms where none existed previously, so be it. Nothing is set in stone. Actually, that's one reason I love writing - it isn't set in stone! I can tweak things endlessly until they fall the way I need them to.

All the writers I know have heard the phrase 'Write what you know.' That isn't always a literal thing - writing what you know can take many forms, and it doesn't have to be just writing things from your past. It can be morphing them into messages to make readers think.

I can't think of a single story I've written where I've poured all of myself into it. There's always something changing, taking one small piece of truth and draping it with a bunch of fiction. That's the only way it works for me. It's like this phrase that I'm trying to weave into a story: "I write fiction because fact hurts too much." That quote will describe how I feel about it, but when I'm done nothing else about the story will be true about me.

Please regard the writer as a creator of many stories, not simply a regurgitator of what happened. I don't just mean me - most of the writers I know have a separation between self and characters. Don't be afraid to ask. You just might get an answer.