A Price to Publish

I know I'm writing to a niche audience. It isn't easy when you want to write erotica. It isn't something you want tattooed on your forehead or proclaimed in block letters on the outside of your home. While it isn't something I hide, it is also something I know most of my neighbors and acquaintances wouldn't understand.

But that's not really the point. Even those friends who read and love what I write can't answer my question about what price to set for my stories. And thanks to this Huffington Post article among others, I know I'm not alone.

At this point, I'm not a big name anywhere. I know people must have run across my work because it's out there. I've been published in a few places. That doesn't mean I have a big audience or following. If I put books or short story collections out there, I am not sure that I will have them snapped up by millions of readers. So goes the doubt of the would-be writer.

Yet there is a price to not publishing, too. Maybe I'm not able to say that a certain number of words is necessary for a $.99, $1.99, or $9.99 ebook, but if these stories just sit in my computer hard drives forever they don't get to do what I'd love them to do most: be read and enjoyed.

I won't stop from my earlier goal to be submitting to magazines. Part of that is getting my name out there and even the token payments remind me to stay on target to write and submit and do everything I can to be published. But what about those great stories I've worked on so long that simply cannot find the right market to be published? Maybe that's the place to start with the ebooks and self-publishing to allow them to find their larger audiences.

Yes, part of this is spawned from my latest rejection letter, which stated that my story was well-written but not what they were looking for. I've given more thought to what they are looking for, and I may try again.

Until then, it's good to get a good feel for what I've written and how the short stories might fit into collections and how many novellas I've got ready to go. This is the time to get out there and find my spot. Encouragement is appreciated.

Feedback...

Sometimes, all I can say is thank you. Today, it was a stretch even for that.

Erotica is an interesting niche to write. There's something about the intimacy of the characters and setting that will repel some readers and attract others. Normally attraction is a good thing, but there is a line between what is welcome and what isn't.

Most of my readers are people I know. I love that I've learned so much about these people. Sometimes I write things specifically to titillate them. All I ask in return is that I get feedback from them about what they thought - even if it amounts to "I hate it." Mostly it keeps my inner needy writer assuaged from thinking my muse must be dumped down a well and never see the light of day again.

Of course, when these friends send flattery my way, I know it's not going to amount to anything. It's just their polite way of telling me to keep going and keep my self-esteem from dragging. My friends are wonderful this way and I hope they know how much I appreciate that.

On the other hand, there are people I don't know. One today who referred to himself by a male name while not only praising lesbians but calling men incomplete... Well, he left me some interesting comments, including a nickname and an instant message and two apologies for being so forward with the disclaimer that he doesn't do that much.

Seriously? Mostly it just makes me shake my head. I should send him to a piece of mine featuring gay males instead. I write so many different things, yet he wants to believe that I am one of those characters featured in the story (neither of which is a proclaimed lesbian). I could point him to several heterosexual characters I've written.

I don't know how to get it across to people that the details of the characters I write are not something I'm trying to express about myself. I write fiction. I love fiction. Sometimes I'll change things about a character to make it fit the story better or to get my message across. If that means creating a man where there was once a woman, changing the color of eyes or hair or skin, or making up mannerisms where none existed previously, so be it. Nothing is set in stone. Actually, that's one reason I love writing - it isn't set in stone! I can tweak things endlessly until they fall the way I need them to.

All the writers I know have heard the phrase 'Write what you know.' That isn't always a literal thing - writing what you know can take many forms, and it doesn't have to be just writing things from your past. It can be morphing them into messages to make readers think.

I can't think of a single story I've written where I've poured all of myself into it. There's always something changing, taking one small piece of truth and draping it with a bunch of fiction. That's the only way it works for me. It's like this phrase that I'm trying to weave into a story: "I write fiction because fact hurts too much." That quote will describe how I feel about it, but when I'm done nothing else about the story will be true about me.

Please regard the writer as a creator of many stories, not simply a regurgitator of what happened. I don't just mean me - most of the writers I know have a separation between self and characters. Don't be afraid to ask. You just might get an answer.

Abortion and the News

The Susan G. Komen Foundation has pulled the plug on funding for Planned Parenthood. Somehow, this makes me irate when they mention comments about the pro-life politics getting in the way of breast health. I was a bit gratified to see that I'm not the only one - according to the Washington Post Planned Parenthood received 6000 donations in the first 24 hours (as opposed to the normal 100 to 200 donations per day) and has nearly covered the funds that the Komen foundation would have provided.

Planned Parenthood is a great organization. It's not just about abortion. They're about sexual and reproductive health across the spectrum - and especially for those who might not otherwise afford it.

And yet, so many people boycott Planned Parenthood because they also offer abortions. Maybe they're just the vocal ones who want to stand on their little soapboxes and say that every life is precious and it begins at conception?

I just have such a problem with that. Planned Parenthood states in their mission that they'd rather prevent unwanted pregnancy than abort it. My problem with the pro-life movement runs a bit deeper, though. If I can set it in my mind that abortion is the right option for me, who are you to say I can't do it? It should be between me, my religious ideals (if any), and my conscience.

Don't give me crap about saying that it ought to only be in certain cases, like rape, incest, and cases that endanger the mother's health. Suddenly we're going to open up all kinds of legal issues trying to demarcate what constitutes rape or significantly endangering the mother's health in order to allow an abortion or not.

We call ourselves free. We make decisions every day about what we want to do. We choose how to shape our own futures with every step we take.

I know several of my friends would choose against abortion - not just for their families but everyone. Some have even picketed against Planned Parenthood. (Shudder.)

Many years ago, on my way home from work, I saw such a demonstration on one of the main streets in the city where I lived. There were posters so large that each took two people to hold on the sides of the road where the speed limit was 45 mph. It was awful and I was surprised there were no accidents that evening, but it didn't change how I felt about abortion. I'd like to think if I were a doctor I'd work for a place like Planned Parenthood and help them with that task.

It's not that I enjoy prematurely taking life, but it's an important thing to do. We need professionals who will stand up and perform the duty and have it be routine enough that it isn't riskier than it has to be.

Humans are wired for the need to procreate - the need to have sex. Prevention should be the first priority, but it might also be good that we stay out of other people's business. How many of us look askance at people like Octomom? At teen mothers? Yet several also shun abortion. We only have so many choices. Make yours count - and keep them to yourself. My business is just that - mine.

I promise to follow my conscience if you do the same.

Note: if Planned Parenthood's numbers are correct, I'm sure we all know someone who's had an abortion. But nobody talks about it. Seems worse than miscarriage that way. It's an incredibly personal decision and it has far-reaching consequences. I'd love to interview someone for a story, but the story will come out either way. Email me if you're willing to share.

What's the Meaning of this [Relationship]?!

Relationships are complicated. Even if you go with the mainstream opinion that monogamy is the way to go - you still get difficulties as people progress through life. If someone gets married at 20, most people will change by 30, not to mention the "til death do us part" numbers. Once people share those years together, they learn to adjust to each other and can even miss the quirks that seemed to drive the individual crazy.

But what happens when you add more than just one person? This Sex at Dawn excerpt starts to show how the complexities multiply. The picture just shows the extra pieces, not thinking about all the mental and emotional segments that go with them.

The richness of characters and plots make these shadings intriguing to me. It isn't just that my stories want to explore sex, but it's also the relationships and the entanglements that draw the reader in to bring them new ideas.

I consider myself lucky that the people I know who practice non-monogamy are willing to answer questions about it. And there is definitely an emphasis on the part about people I know part. There are likely more that practice several of those segments from the graphic, like perhaps Don't Ask Don't Tell or Cheating, who wouldn't talk to me about it. My questions are all filled with curiosity and not malice.

With all the possibilities out there, it is a wonder that the mainstream view is monogamy, isn't it? It must be an assumption we get from our formative years. Is it because most of our parents and grandparents practice it? Because we hear about it in the religious gatherings? Because so often those who fill that graph with all the colors are the ones who keep quietest about their activities?

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but that would translate to love being in the heart of the relationship. It doesn't matter with whom you celebrate it - but rather that you do it. How much more interesting would our society be if we allowed a spectrum in place of the black-and-white choices? It's not about gay vs straight or monogamy vs polygamy or ever right vs wrong. Choices decide who we are and how we love. Love is the most important part - to do it and feel it and share it. And, as I hope for the erotica gig, read it!

On Writing Sex Scenes

I appreciated this HuffingtonPost article about a tongue in cheek way to write a sex scene.

I think it's hard to write a good sex scene. There are so many things that go into it, like whether you're trying to excite or repel or even if you just want to make a statement. Every word chosen goes toward the effect of the entire scene. It isn't just point of view or the specific actions that take place.

And don't get me started on the people who close the door on the reader when sex might occur. Or, maybe you should.

Take sex itself: It's as different as the people who come together to screw. Some cannot fathom doing it one way and some can't be talked out that specific position or fetish or anything else you might imagine. It says something about who we are. Those things also tell our readers even more about our characters.

When you shut the door and let the characters do their thing - it's saying something about the author, and not just the characters. Whether they have sex or not is up to them, but if and how you describe it should also be up to them.

Some stories need the sex scenes. I'm not just talking about the erotica or pornography bits where the author's trying to get a rise out of the reader. Sometimes the epiphany happens during sex - just like in real life. If you deprive your reader of the character's AHA! moment, you haven't done anyone any favors.

Maybe the question ought to be, do you need that scene? Does the reader need to know that the main character and her husband have dutiful sex every night? It does if it changes her at some point. No, not every scene needs to be true to their lives - feel free to cut every snippet that doesn't lead to the big moment of change - but really examine the story being told to give an idea about what needs to be in there.

I wrote a novel that wasn't erotica. [That happens occasionally. I haven't written a full erotica novel yet, but it might happen one day.] There were a couple important sex scenes to show in that novel, though. Each one contributed to the main character's fall and showed her changing views through the novel. There aren't very many, four at most, but each one shows something a little different happening and her reaction to the change.

I listen to authors and publishers who think all sex is gratuitous and should never be shown. While some of them seem to be mired in overly religious views that do not seem to be separable from their author selves, it makes me wonder if those ingrained beliefs begin from other places. So are extremely religious people doomed to keep up their faith through stories? I'm really curious if the "good" authors are able to separate themselves from their core beliefs or if it is another form of author intrusion, this time insinuating into the characters themselves... If anyone has examples, I'd love to know about them.

So perhaps that is a failing of mine, that I enjoy exploring in this niche of sexuality and its expression. It isn't always about making my readers immediately excuse themselves to masturbate, though that is sometimes my goal. Sometimes it's about expressing something that doesn't always get said and showing that through the characters and how they love or not.

Think about how those one-night stands really differ from the true love types. Or how one night with your spouse is so much more memorable than another. Or why one type of encounter turns you on in a different way than all the others. Most of the time we don't learn anything from our sexual encounters, but there are times it really sticks in your head. Is that appropriate for a story? Can you separate your own life from the character you want to write about in order to express that epiphany? Do you think you can stretch it from the one side of straight pornography to the other of twisted erotica with the same events but change the views of the characters involved and how the reader gets to understand them to pull out those other ideas?

I can't stop exploring the richness of sex in stories, at least. My characters range as far as I can imagine, and each of them has individual opinions that must be expressed. I would like to say my core beliefs do not intrude, but I'm sure they do here and there. Someone would have to read them all to figure it out, but no one's done that yet. Now and then I find someone extremely good at reading between the lines and it makes me a little nervous to send stories - but I do it anyway. It's good for the muse.

Always Another Challenge

The more we put challenges in front of ourselves with the expectation to do something with them, the more we will accomplish. Well, maybe it's better to just say that is how I manage. I set high standards for myself and I reach to achieve them. 

So the end of 2011 is going to see the end of something else - me not submitting new stories out to be published. It's been a long time since I sent anything out. I know, I had the acceptance in September. But before that, I had submitted nothing this year. 

Nothing. I will admit I looked around a little, but it's disheartening to think all of the stories that I have written and not done something with. Okay, some of them have gone to friends to enjoy - and luckily they're very kind with their responses. 

So last night I sent out another story. I struggled so much with a title and a bio. Those shouldn't be the difficult things. Okay, titles I'll give you as a bummer; they either come to me or I struggle horribly with them and get people to make suggestions. 

Total for 2011: 2 submissions and 1 acceptance. [Will let everyone know the status of the other one when I find out.] 

Next year, I have to believe I can manage to do better. I should be able to manage at least one submission a month. I have a few stories that are ready, or very close to being ready, to go out to publishers. I've been researching several markets and I know there are matches out there.

I've also been thinking about self-publishing a collection of short stories. That gets into difficult decisions, though, like whether to put them according to erotic interest (kink, vanilla, gay, straight, mind-boggling...) or to just mix them together. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them. 

Here's for something better in 2012. Wishing the best to all of you, as well. 

Of Writing Dreams

First, writing a dream is always difficult because dreams don't always make sense once you wake up. They're bits and pieces of thoughts and somehow they flow together great with the subconscious mind, but when the logic kicks in everything falls apart. Or at least enough to realize there isn't a true plot line.

Without a solid plot, images can still be taken to create new things. I keep having an image haunt me during dreams, and that follows the inspiration in my daily writing. The problem is, I don't like having so many stories focused around the same kind of thing, plus I can't seem to write that image out. I'm not sure why my obsession has latched on to one particular focus.

Sometimes the lack of variety makes me a little annoyed and that blocks the flow of creativity. So should I just go with it? I don't have to polish all the snippets I write to try to publish them. I find it odd that it keeps cropping up, though. It managed two or three times during the November writings and a few more times this month. A couple of them I just went with, because I can manage a couple of anything. But there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

I probably need to go find another inspiration. Any takers for that challenge?