I've never had a lot of family, and my friends have filled those voids for me. Which is good, because it seems like the family members I can manage to coexist with are far away or passed away.
I know I've been quiet on the blog lately, and it is all a struggle within my mind. There are good days and bad days and days when I wish I wasn't me and days that I wouldn't be anyone else for anything.
My home has always been within fiction. The stories I want to share are always bubbling free. The problem is that the story I want to tell these days isn't fiction. That said, I abhor memoirs. And yet as I turn the pieces together, nothing else will fit. Some stories do not translate to fiction. I also refuse to go the route of saying, "Here, read this pile of fifteen stories to understand." And it would take an unknown number of stories, because fiction simply doesn't translate the same way nonfiction does. Coherence of story matters. (At least, to me.)
The other struggle with writing a memoir is that I don't remember everything. I see flashes here and flashes there and only creative nonfiction would fill in the gaps necessary to make it understandable.
Is it worth telling a story that gets more complicated the more you remember? It's bad enough a friend of mine looked at me this week and simply stated, "You're complicated." I'm pretty sure that isn't a compliment, but thanks, dude. Doesn't matter if I try to be an open book, if I try to be someone simple. It doesn't work for me.
Honesty may be the best policy, but less can also be more. Simple questions should have simple answers. I know it always frustrated my father when he would ask me questions that seemed like it would have a yes or no answer, and I'd come back with something like green. All I can say is, it made sense at the time. To me, and me alone.
This month, today, both are significant to me. I struggle with mental illness, and the first signs of it (at least, confirmed from someone outside myself) were about seventeen years ago this month. Diagnosis followed slowly, about seven years ago. It's forever, and yet it's yesterday. I know I've been irrational with a side of paranoia lately, and I'm hoping to move past that for a time. How much is always unclear.
Maybe the memoir idea will fade and I'll be able to concentrate on editing that story I've been meaning to finish.
I saw a quote today by Terri Main. "You are a writer. The 'normal' ship sailed without you long ago."
Friday, July 19, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
A Writer Issue
Do you ever look around at people you know and think writers might be a dime a dozen? Do you ever think that because you know someone published - one of those elusive author type of writers - that they must be at least a certain caliber of writer?
I know writers, published and not, that have all levels of skill. Self-published has become something of an opening for all writers to be read, to be shared, and to be reviewed. Traditional publishing (in this case anything that pays you and takes care of the details) might be called outdated by some, but it is also an obvious sign that someone has been trying to get published. It's hard, and it takes a great deal of work to find the market that fits your manuscript.
But whether indie or traditional, most writers start talking about their work at some point. We spread word of mouth through our families, friends, and acquaintances. We do book signings and author or book events and we hope that someone likes our work.
Somehow that gets a little more complicated as soon as what you write is erotica. It's not easy to even start with the entire "hi, I write erotica." Sure, I write. Though my best friend had to save her party when I announced for the first time that I got a story published - dark erotica. I know it was the last two words that made everyone silent.
It's just so hard to gauge a reaction like that. I know not everyone is a fan of anything that might be called dark erotica. I also know that even if a person doesn't like that particular story, they generally will say it is well-written.
So how do you go about sharing this with your nearest and dearest? "Hi, honey, today I decided to write a story about sex," might just get you more than you bargained for. At least, that's what some think happens. In some cases it leads to a sweeping generalization that you must be writing porn.
It's difficult to explain the differences between erotica and porn. Many times the words can be used interchangeably, but at least some try to draw a line and stay on one side. I'll admit I've written both, though I prefer the erotica side. Porn has become a word that implies sex for the sake of sex, so as writers we attempt to reclaim the erotica label to give the reader the understanding that there will be conflict, tension, and actual reasons to get into bed together spiced throughout the tale. I believe there is a place for both, and there's nothing wrong with writing either.
However, I do wish that a few less people would take the "I write erotica" admission as flirtation. I don't think the other genres (though perhaps some romance writers can understand it) have this problem. I'm admitting something, and it might mean you're special to me. It also might mean I have a different idea about sex and its role in our society than any person who would use that as a pickup line.
Wait. That might make a fun story. Erotica writer as a pickup line rather than as someone who actually writes it. I'm sure there are enough people with pen names who wouldn't take credit for their own work that it could actually fly.
I know writers, published and not, that have all levels of skill. Self-published has become something of an opening for all writers to be read, to be shared, and to be reviewed. Traditional publishing (in this case anything that pays you and takes care of the details) might be called outdated by some, but it is also an obvious sign that someone has been trying to get published. It's hard, and it takes a great deal of work to find the market that fits your manuscript.
But whether indie or traditional, most writers start talking about their work at some point. We spread word of mouth through our families, friends, and acquaintances. We do book signings and author or book events and we hope that someone likes our work.
Somehow that gets a little more complicated as soon as what you write is erotica. It's not easy to even start with the entire "hi, I write erotica." Sure, I write. Though my best friend had to save her party when I announced for the first time that I got a story published - dark erotica. I know it was the last two words that made everyone silent.
It's just so hard to gauge a reaction like that. I know not everyone is a fan of anything that might be called dark erotica. I also know that even if a person doesn't like that particular story, they generally will say it is well-written.
So how do you go about sharing this with your nearest and dearest? "Hi, honey, today I decided to write a story about sex," might just get you more than you bargained for. At least, that's what some think happens. In some cases it leads to a sweeping generalization that you must be writing porn.
It's difficult to explain the differences between erotica and porn. Many times the words can be used interchangeably, but at least some try to draw a line and stay on one side. I'll admit I've written both, though I prefer the erotica side. Porn has become a word that implies sex for the sake of sex, so as writers we attempt to reclaim the erotica label to give the reader the understanding that there will be conflict, tension, and actual reasons to get into bed together spiced throughout the tale. I believe there is a place for both, and there's nothing wrong with writing either.
However, I do wish that a few less people would take the "I write erotica" admission as flirtation. I don't think the other genres (though perhaps some romance writers can understand it) have this problem. I'm admitting something, and it might mean you're special to me. It also might mean I have a different idea about sex and its role in our society than any person who would use that as a pickup line.
Wait. That might make a fun story. Erotica writer as a pickup line rather than as someone who actually writes it. I'm sure there are enough people with pen names who wouldn't take credit for their own work that it could actually fly.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Thoughts about Friends
Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other is gold.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
So often these little sayings are bandied about to children. Do we grow up believing them? Why, then, is everyone so surprised when someone acts nice and treats another with respect and care?
As children approach adulthood, we hear other phrases:
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Blood runs thicker than water.
It is always the people closest, whether family or friends, who feel the fallout when someone vanishes from daily life, whether it is from a move to a new home or a death. While we are told as youngsters to cherish those close to us, we are also split apart from them as we get older.
It seems simpler in books. If you don't like the sister, write her out. The best friend has become too much of a frenemy, so you write her into a new romance to leave the protagonist bereft of even the competitive spirit of their relationship. The romantic interest becomes boring, and you pen in another hobby like skydiving.
Yet it leaves me wondering about the people left behind. If my character moves, she knows what she's leaving behind and she faces what comes next. If her friend moves, she thinks she'll keep in touch through Herculean efforts. In real life, each of them finds a new daily norm and settles into a routine with people who are local. Give the moved girl a marriage in a bit of time (with the traditional name change) and she'll be all but unfindable.
My brain is centered today on the concept of trying to find the way back home for a protagonist who left at a young age. She might be recognizable to some of the people who knew her well, but perhaps not. Her motivation isn't the most innocent, and she's going to encounter resistance before she finishes her plan.
Yet what would it take to make someone unrecognizable? How many years before the memory has faded from those closest to her? How much can a name change before they assume she is someone else? Think of people who moved away from your past, or the people you left if you were the one who moved: even with social media we can't always find the people who meant something to us.
I suppose what I'm wondering today is, what does it take to completely disappear?
One last thought: All is fair in love and war.
One is silver and the other is gold.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
So often these little sayings are bandied about to children. Do we grow up believing them? Why, then, is everyone so surprised when someone acts nice and treats another with respect and care?
As children approach adulthood, we hear other phrases:
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Blood runs thicker than water.
It is always the people closest, whether family or friends, who feel the fallout when someone vanishes from daily life, whether it is from a move to a new home or a death. While we are told as youngsters to cherish those close to us, we are also split apart from them as we get older.
It seems simpler in books. If you don't like the sister, write her out. The best friend has become too much of a frenemy, so you write her into a new romance to leave the protagonist bereft of even the competitive spirit of their relationship. The romantic interest becomes boring, and you pen in another hobby like skydiving.
Yet it leaves me wondering about the people left behind. If my character moves, she knows what she's leaving behind and she faces what comes next. If her friend moves, she thinks she'll keep in touch through Herculean efforts. In real life, each of them finds a new daily norm and settles into a routine with people who are local. Give the moved girl a marriage in a bit of time (with the traditional name change) and she'll be all but unfindable.
My brain is centered today on the concept of trying to find the way back home for a protagonist who left at a young age. She might be recognizable to some of the people who knew her well, but perhaps not. Her motivation isn't the most innocent, and she's going to encounter resistance before she finishes her plan.
Yet what would it take to make someone unrecognizable? How many years before the memory has faded from those closest to her? How much can a name change before they assume she is someone else? Think of people who moved away from your past, or the people you left if you were the one who moved: even with social media we can't always find the people who meant something to us.
I suppose what I'm wondering today is, what does it take to completely disappear?
One last thought: All is fair in love and war.
Friday, June 7, 2013
In Case of Editing-
Send help. Lots of help.
Somehow I just have trouble to figure out how to stay on it, to stay focused, to stay with the forward momentum.
I don't know why I can't figure out what it takes to keep me editing. Tomorrow is another day to try again.
Somehow I just have trouble to figure out how to stay on it, to stay focused, to stay with the forward momentum.
I don't know why I can't figure out what it takes to keep me editing. Tomorrow is another day to try again.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Edit!
My editor sent my story back, and the time has come to fix all the things she found. The beauty of editors is they pick out the weak spots. The hard part is picking out what is actually the perfect flaw among all the pieces that, when fixed, make it better.
Until next time...
Friday, May 24, 2013
Conflict of Interest
Erotica isn't an easy genre to get reviews. Self-published authors as a rule also have trouble trying to get someone to write about their books. I've been writing down my thoughts on a file, trying to get a better idea of what is out there. It's almost like a review. I have been thinking about changing those thoughts into actual reviews.
Except then a friend of mine explained why he thought it was a conflict of interest to post reviews of another author's books. Those words weigh in my mind as I try to figure out all the details. His point comes from his experience in cars. One company might be looking for your loyalty to be only to that company for as long as they can.
I don't know how many other authors write reviews. I ought to head over to a writing forum like GoodReads to see who is out there reviewing. But writing isn't quite like a lot of industries out there. I don't expect a customer to buy books from one author only. I don't even expect customers to buy in only one genre. A lot of brands look for that kind of loyalty - buy only BMW or Dyson or Energizer. Use only Pandora or State Farm for your service needs.
When I look over the books I own, several authors have been my favorites. Each of them has a different strength (and weakness). All of those books have held my attention, though some do keep me up to read later than others.
What are you looking for in a review? Would you follow what an author says in that genre? I assume an author in the genre keeps reading a lot of things to know what's out there and what is allowed within the rules of that genre. Where would that conflict of interest lie between getting reviews of other works out there and promoting your own work?
Except then a friend of mine explained why he thought it was a conflict of interest to post reviews of another author's books. Those words weigh in my mind as I try to figure out all the details. His point comes from his experience in cars. One company might be looking for your loyalty to be only to that company for as long as they can.
I don't know how many other authors write reviews. I ought to head over to a writing forum like GoodReads to see who is out there reviewing. But writing isn't quite like a lot of industries out there. I don't expect a customer to buy books from one author only. I don't even expect customers to buy in only one genre. A lot of brands look for that kind of loyalty - buy only BMW or Dyson or Energizer. Use only Pandora or State Farm for your service needs.
When I look over the books I own, several authors have been my favorites. Each of them has a different strength (and weakness). All of those books have held my attention, though some do keep me up to read later than others.
What are you looking for in a review? Would you follow what an author says in that genre? I assume an author in the genre keeps reading a lot of things to know what's out there and what is allowed within the rules of that genre. Where would that conflict of interest lie between getting reviews of other works out there and promoting your own work?
Friday, May 17, 2013
In Search of an Artist
It's not easy to go in search of someone to make pictures of your words. I can search for what I want, but somehow I just get an idea in my head and it doesn't always happen to be among the stock images.
I'm never sure if I can afford an artist, but I am on the lookout for places to see who is out there. Who wants to do erotic images (or at least, images for erotica ebook covers)? Those two do not have to be the same thing.
When I look at ebooks, there are a lot of covers that show skin or some barely-there outfit that will (hopefully) interest the reader. Sometimes the cover does not match with my read of the book. I don't find it easy to translate my words into something to match the front.
I suppose I'm lucky I have a good editor to work with already.
So this week is dedicated to finding the requirements for any place where I might publish an ebook, looking for the spots where the artists are congregating, and possibly looking at stock images to see if I can get ideas for the words I've already written.
Plus, I'm going to send the first one to the aforementioned editor and put the finishing touches on it so I'll be ready to go when I get that artist. Oh, the exciting life of a writer!
I'm never sure if I can afford an artist, but I am on the lookout for places to see who is out there. Who wants to do erotic images (or at least, images for erotica ebook covers)? Those two do not have to be the same thing.
When I look at ebooks, there are a lot of covers that show skin or some barely-there outfit that will (hopefully) interest the reader. Sometimes the cover does not match with my read of the book. I don't find it easy to translate my words into something to match the front.
I suppose I'm lucky I have a good editor to work with already.
So this week is dedicated to finding the requirements for any place where I might publish an ebook, looking for the spots where the artists are congregating, and possibly looking at stock images to see if I can get ideas for the words I've already written.
Plus, I'm going to send the first one to the aforementioned editor and put the finishing touches on it so I'll be ready to go when I get that artist. Oh, the exciting life of a writer!
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