A Writer Issue

Do you ever look around at people you know and think writers might be a dime a dozen? Do you ever think that because you know someone published - one of those elusive author type of writers - that they must be at least a certain caliber of writer?

I know writers, published and not, that have all levels of skill. Self-published has become something of an opening for all writers to be read, to be shared, and to be reviewed. Traditional publishing (in this case anything that pays you and takes care of the details) might be called outdated by some, but it is also an obvious sign that someone has been trying to get published. It's hard, and it takes a great deal of work to find the market that fits your manuscript.

But whether indie or traditional, most writers start talking about their work at some point. We spread word of mouth through our families, friends, and acquaintances. We do book signings and author or book events and we hope that someone likes our work.

Somehow that gets a little more complicated as soon as what you write is erotica. It's not easy to even start with the entire "hi, I write erotica." Sure, I write. Though my best friend had to save her party when I announced for the first time that I got a story published - dark erotica. I know it was the last two words that made everyone silent.

It's just so hard to gauge a reaction like that. I know not everyone is a fan of anything that might be called dark erotica. I also know that even if a person doesn't like that particular story, they generally will say it is well-written.

So how do you go about sharing this with your nearest and dearest? "Hi, honey, today I decided to write a story about sex," might just get you more than you bargained for. At least, that's what some think happens. In some cases it leads to a sweeping generalization that you must be writing porn.

It's difficult to explain the differences between erotica and porn. Many times the words can be used interchangeably, but at least some try to draw a line and stay on one side. I'll admit I've written both, though I prefer the erotica side. Porn has become a word that implies sex for the sake of sex, so as writers we attempt to reclaim the erotica label to give the reader the understanding that there will be conflict, tension, and actual reasons to get into bed together spiced throughout the tale. I believe there is a place for both, and there's nothing wrong with writing either.

However, I do wish that a few less people would take the "I write erotica" admission as flirtation. I don't think the other genres (though perhaps some romance writers can understand it) have this problem. I'm admitting something, and it might mean you're special to me. It also might mean I have a different idea about sex and its role in our society than any person who would use that as a pickup line.

Wait. That might make a fun story. Erotica writer as a pickup line rather than as someone who actually writes it. I'm sure there are enough people with pen names who wouldn't take credit for their own work that it could actually fly.